I am so confused and don't know what i should think?

You made the mistake of staying with him after the first time he cheated on you. When you do this, they learn that they can cheat and that you're going to stay no matter what you may threaten to do. Haven't you ever heard the saying "Once a cheater, always a cheater"? I would get out of there now or else you're going to be stuck in a miserable marriage that has no trust or respect in it. I personally don't think you can ever regain the trust back from infidelity, you can say that you forgive, but you never forget. My advice is to get out of there!